Case of adolescent psychological counseling: children live in an imaginary world and can't make friends

推薦連結:成人英語課程 持續進修基金

Two days ago, some parents responded to me: her children always live in their own imaginary world. They often talk to themselves and imagine themselves as a character in an animation or story, doing something. In the kindergarten, all the children were playing on the ground, but her child hid away and kept talking. Neither the teacher nor the students could understand what he said. Asked what he was talking about, he didn't respond, just kept talking to himself. I don't like playing with children at ordinary times. I don't know how to communicate with children. I don't have my own friends. Occasionally, I especially want to find a partner to play. Once there is a contradiction, I won't play. I only dare to play with children with mild temper. My favorite thing at home is watching cartoons and listening to stories. I often say I'm bored. I don't like kindergartens. I think the activity arrangement of kindergartens is too boring. I always feel boring at home. Parents are worried about their children's performance.

After in-depth understanding, I found that the current problems of children are mainly caused by the parenting style of parents.

First of all, parents themselves have no friends, are not sociable, and lack demonstration for their children. In their family life, there is no concept of "friends". Usually, they go to work, go to school, and stay with their family after they go home. They have never invited others to their homes, nor have they been to other people's homes as guests, and adults rarely take their children out to play. Therefore, in the world of children, they don't know what friends are and how to make friends.

Secondly, when the child was very young, the main caregiver hardly communicated with the child. She thought those were nonsense and she wouldn't say anything else. After the child is older, she mainly tells the child picture books, and there is less communication in life. Later, my mother went out to work, and the elderly at home didn't like to go out. They often watched cartoons for their children, so the children's language learning mainly came from the fictional world of stories and cartoons. These contents did not come from the real scenes in life, so it affected the development of children's social ability, and his ability to understand and transfer language would be very weak, I don't know how to communicate with others in the real world. He can't make friends, don't know how to get along with his peers, don't adapt to the life of kindergarten, which has a lot to do with his lack of language ability.

Then, parents have a single way to accompany their children, either telling them picture books or letting their children watch TV. Children have few toys. They don't know what to do except listening to stories and watching cartoons. Adults don't take their children out much, and they don't play games with their children at home. The child's exuberant energy has nowhere to vent. Children can't find fun and a sense of belonging in real life. It's understandable that they like to immerse themselves in the fictional world.

I made some suggestions for the situation of this family.

1. Let the mother and other family members communicate and communicate with their children more in life without being too complicated. For example, when eating, you can ask, "baby, do you know what this dish is? How do you feel about it?" when you get up in the morning, you can say, "baby, what clothes do you want to wear today?" after school, you can chat with your children: "baby, which children did you play with today in the kindergarten? What games did you play?" Bring the child back to real life. When telling children stories or watching cartoons, you can also communicate with children: "do you think he did it right? If it was you, what would you do? What would happen next?" create opportunities for children to say more, not simple expression, but two-way communication between children and adults.

2. Enrich children's life, help children develop some interests and hobbies, and do something with children. For example, you can buy more toys, puzzles, building blocks and cars for your children. You can take your children to experience classes in interest classes, or what games the whole family plays together and clean up together, so that children feel that there are many things they can do without feeling bored.

3. Improve children's social skills and take them out more often. When he encounters difficulties, adults should timely provide help and demonstrate, so that children can learn to correctly deal with contradictions and conflicts with others. At home, you can play role-playing games and set some scenes to let children learn how to get along with children and how to solve problems.

When children have more contact with reality, they will gradually reduce their behavior of immersing themselves in the imaginary world. If the child is only occasionally confused between reality and imagination, or the child deliberately imagines himself as a role, this is very normal, which is in line with the development characteristics of children before the age of 6. Don't worry too much.

This article is original by "Guo Lifang psychological studio". You are welcome to pay attention, praise and comment. The article is declined to reprint.